My Parents

It really sounds amazing and a total 180 degrees when I learned that my parents have committed themselves to finally visit Katriina and me in Finland. I don’t know what made them to consider this visit, but Katriina and I look forward to welcoming them to our home in Kuru. One inclination would revolve around my father’s age of 69 and still rather healthy, and that they ought to visit us at least once. If not us, then Europe.

I have been waiting for this moment for the last couple of years and now the long wait is over. Obviously, it must have required a great deal of decision making because my parents have other priorities. We knew that this day would come, but it was just a matter of when. I have to admit that I’m happy and giddy about their visit. At the same time, I’m just afraid that they will be bored in Finland. I just hope that they will take this trip as an opportunity to relax as well.

The Past

This is a photograph of my parents with their four children being photographed for immigration. I’m the boy with the number five on my chest – the third child of four. This photograph is not reminiscent of the trials and tribulations we had to endure during the Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia during the late 70’s, but a photo of hope.

My parents have gone through so much pain and anguish during the Khmer Rouge regime that nothing could compare to that heinous period. Although my parents were not captured by the Khmer Rouge, in a sense, every Cambodians suffered all the same. We were one of the lucky ones who escaped to Khao-I-Dang refugee camp, based on the border of Thailand and Cambodia. I have to thank them for their struggles to save all of our lives no matter the circumstances. Many Cambodians have similar horrific experiences and real life stories, but it can not compare to your own sacrifices.

I cannot really say that I have struggled through these times, but through my parents’ stories, it makes me open my eyes and realize the difficult situation we had as a family. I cannot really say that I remember much of anything about the events, but through my parents’ stories, I have a history to reflect on and look forward to passing on to my own child(ren).

The Uncertainties

To rewind back to the first time I informed my parents about the news of my moving decision, they were definitely not pleased to hear about it. There were many “why” questions. And plenty of “if” questions as well. My mother had a really tough time understanding my planned decision. Why did I decide to leave the family to live with my Finnish wife? It was a very difficult decision with plenty of emphasis. It was not the first decision, but it was a joint decision between Katriina and me. We carefully analyzed the situation and felt that living together in Finland would prove to be the best decision.

One of the most difficult part of our relationship was not our own marriage, but was with the relationship we had with my mother. She appeared to have distant herself from Katriina for some reason – a level of prejudice of some sort. I suppose it might have nothing to do with race, but more of a mother-son relationship. The second year was especially difficult when we visited Seattle for the first time after my relocation.

Through time, situation changes, grudges are forgotten, but a change of heart is what happened to my mother. It took five years for it to happen, but we never lost faith in her. I’m certain that we’re not the only couple experiencing this type of situation. I’m very happy to see that my mother has realized Katriina’s heart-warming intentions.

The Present

It has been six successful years since I moved to the country of Finland and still going strong. It was at the end of December in 2001 when I packed a few bags and headed to the unfamiliar territory of the Scandinavian country. Honestly, it would be my second time. Therefore, I had some predisposed knowledge of the country’s environment and European culture beforehand.

At first, Katriina and I lived in Helsinki, the capital of Finland. I was amazed that I was integrated to the country’s social system instantly after my immigration. Well, there were some paper works, but it was a painless procedure. I was also given some unemployment benefits, in the form of cash and language training. To this day, I still can’t speak Finnish very well. That’s what happens when you rely on English everyday for work.

After getting a hired at the country’s largest and world’s telecommunication company, we had to move to Tampere, a city approximately two hours north of Helsinki. After three years in a condo, we bought our first house and moved to Kuru. Fortunately for Finland, I haven’t considered returning back to Seattle yet.

The only family member to have visited me, so to speak, was my brother Savan. Actually he was at my wedding the year before my move to Finland. Therefore, it might have been semi-official. So Savan needs to come visit us for real. Now, my parents will be making their first visit to Finland. Let’s see if my two sisters will find their way to Finland someday. With a large family of their own, it might be too much of a challenge.

The Plans

With a month stay in Finland, we found it somewhat difficult to provide some sort of entertainment for my parents. There isn’t a concrete plan for tourism, but here are a few items we came up with:

1. Cambodian Night at Katriina’s mom’s restaurant for a charity event.

2. A 3-day cruise from Helsinki-Sweden-Helsinki on Viking Line

3. A tour to Finland’s Lapland and Artic Circle; to meet the real Santa Claus

4. A west coastal scenic tour

5. A tour of the Helsinki area

6. A tour of the Tampere area

7. A house party with Finnish family members and friends

8. Of course, my dad has promised to help me do some patio and driveway brick layering