Insights, Foresights, and Hindsights

The thinking baby

Over a week has come and gone. The life of Sarah in Kuru, Finland has seen growth each day. Well, it’s difficult to tell if she is growing, but she has increased her diet on a daily basis. From the point of coming home from the hospital, we only gave her about 10-15 ml of formula each time she needed it. Today, she requires about 60 ml each time. Of course, she doesn’t consume all at once, but we can assume that she needs more food everyday in order to sustain her growth.

In addition to food intake, Sarah has been cranky and it’s difficult to determine what she needs. Katriina and I just go with the flow and hopes that everything will turn out all right. I think this is a typical method of raising a baby from the beginning. Diaper changing is normally the most difficult time as Sarah likes to use her lungs to the max. At times, she’s easier than others. Her umbilical cord hasn’t fallen off yet, so we are anticipating it to happen around next week.

There has been some sleepless nights as one would imagine. Sarah’s sleeping pattern is unpredictable, but we predict that she wakes up anywhere between 2-4 hours. And then she would need to be fed, have diaper changed and bottom washed. The cycle continues.

I haven’t had the time recently to post any blogs. I’ve been rather busy either with work and the latest excuse is a baby. Yep, I said it, a baby. I’ve never thought that this day would come or when it would come, but it is here and I’m living it as we speak. I knew I would be a father some day, but when was the more eluded quesiton. Katriina and I had set out a long term plan years ago when I moved to Finland. We assessed our goals and would achieve them before committing to have a family. We both would have a stable job and career, earn enough to support a family and own a house. Of course, we had to ignore the yapping from our parents and friends on when we would have a baby.

After getting a promotion earlier this year at the present company and Katriina was ready to have her maternity leave, we decided to evaluate our status once more. Our aggregated decision resulted in our readiness to become parents and everything was in place for a family.

It all started nine months ago, when the conception started. Month after month, we became more anxious about how we would raise our child around the current environment we live in. Obviously, this anxiety is a normal tendency with all couples and their first born. We didn’t want to be just any parents, we wanted to be the best parents who can provide all the love and care associated with childcare. The love and care that might have been lacking with our own experiences – the closeness, the bonding, the support, the caring, the emotional attachment. I’m not saying that we lacked any or all of these traits from both sides of our parents, but it’s a matter of providing the best care a child needs in order to grow up with our own expectations.

During the second and third trimester, the baby was already moving actively in the womb – kicking Katriina’s stomach every-now-and-then. It’s amazing how life was being formed right in front of your very own eyes. During the third trimester, we received a weekly pregnancy counseling by a midwife in our little town of Kuru. We had to visit once a week for a repetitive assessment and evaluation of the baby’s and Katriina’s status: taking blood pressure, obtaining weight, detecting baby’s heartbeat, etc.

Then, the delivery date arrived, and nothing happened. We were anxious for the moment because it could happen and we would need to rush to the hospital to start the labor. But nothing happened and we had to visit the counselor again that week. My prediction for the labor was the next day, Monday, but again, it didn’t happen. Everyday during that week, we anticipated the labor to occur, but nothing happened. Until, the seventh day after the actual due date. Katriina started feeling contractions, which started on Saturday 11:30pm. We waited it out for the contractions to occur more frequently before we would head out to Tampere University Hospital. I don’t think Katriina got any sleep that night as she was noting the frequency of the contractions. I don’t think I got much either because when Katriina is awake or the bed is moving, there is no way I can sleep. At 6:30am on Sunday morning, we decided that it was time to go. We didn’t have to rush because it wasn’t that emergent. Then our day began as we headed out the door, with a bag of necessities for Katriina during the hospital stay.

When we arrived to Tampere University Hospital at 7:30am, Katriina was admitted right away. I had to wait out in the hall, along with a host of other fathers-to-be. This wasn’t the actual delivery room, but a childbirth prepping room – predelivery room. The midwives assess the condition of the mom-to-be and decide if the labor would occur anytime during the same day. Fortunately for us, at 12:30pm, we were sent up to the delivery room. We were having the baby today. Even if they would send us back home, I would deny it because we live so far from the city and we wouldn’t want to take the risk of driving back and forth.

At the beginning of the labor, a midwife had set up all the equipment for Katriina. As pain started to get worse, Katriina got some air (N2O) to alleviate the pain. Through the next few hours, the pain reliever proved to be ineffective. The only thing affected was Katriina’s wellbeing. She got a bit stoned from getting too much air. It was self-treated so the midwife didn’t care if and when Katriina inhaled the air from a breathing tube.

An epidural was the next pain reliever. It worked…for about an hour or so. In addition to some other pain killers the midwife gave to Katriina, it still didn’t work as the contractions got more intense. The next pain reliever was a spinal treatment. After a few attempts to insert the needle to Katriina’s spine, the anesthesiologist finally got it in place – causing a bloody spot on the back. After few minutes, Katriina stopped whining as the treatment started to kick in. The spinal treament numbed the local area and Katriina felt much better, without any pain.

It was getting to be a long day as the baby persisted in coming out. Katriina and I decided to ask for a water breakage. Although the dilation was at 3 cm, she wasn’t dilating fast enough. Therefore, we got the doctor to perform a water breakage to induce a quicker dilation. Even after the water breakage, the dilation increased slightly per hour.

Our primary midwife had already started her double shift, but we weren’t even close to delivery yet. Then, when the night midwife came in, the action started. I had to assist Katriina  by supporting her back at a 90 degree position. When it got close, the midwife was showing me the tip of the baby’s head, already with hair. Feeling no pain, Katriina started to push much harder, with the assistance of two midwives. Then, the final push, a baby was born, on Sunday, 11:30pm.

The primary midwife placed the lifeless baby on a cloth. All of a sudden, it started to cry. I thought that they had to suck the goopy stuff out of the baby’s nose or mouth before the crying starts. I suppose, the baby didn’t need it. What a feeling it was to witness such an adventure for the baby. Katriina and I are now parents of a baby girl.

After an hour or so, the baby was placed on Katriina’s chest for warmth and bonding. We were wondering when they would clean up the baby, but it was a busy night apparently with many other labors. To my surprise, the baby wasn’t very dirty after coming out. Then the assistant midwife took the baby for a physical assessment:

Weight: 3.5 kg
Height: 52 cm

In addition to the head measurement, all signs were normal. We were relieved and happy about that. All we hoped for was a healthy baby.

The secondary midwife washed the baby in a large sink and took her back to the counter to clean and dress up the baby. After getting dressed in her first set of clothes, the midwife also wrapped up the baby in a large white cloth. When she was done, the baby looked like she had been mummified. She handed me the baby and I carefully carried to Katriina, who was still laying on the delivery bed.

After many more hours of waiting, we were moved to the recovery room. Things settled down and the baby was taken to the nurse’s station for overnight observation. I left the hospital at about 3:00am since the hospital policy didn’t allow husbands to stay overnight as there was no accommodation space.

For the next few days, I visited Katriina and the baby as much as possible. The baby was already a crier, proving that she had good lungs. Katriina’s health improved day-by-day and was on schedule for recovery. On the third day, the mother and baby was discharged. I brought the baby’s bag and carseat.

A long journey awaits us with the development of our first born. A lot of love and care is expected, but it isn’t enough through the first few years. It’s a matter of consistency for many years to come.

Additional pics and videos:
Baby weighing-in
Baby close-up
More pics and videos